Rebel High - Chapter Six.

Chapter Six: Depression.

I never went home after school I knew it would be pointless so I walked off to the Park i had heard talking about.  I sat there with the Bass Guitar my father bought me and began to play.  The song I worked on was "Passion Crime"  I wasn't sure what else to do, I had told off the cheerleader earlier this day, my parents would likely hear of it and well I just didnt't want that talk.  I knew if I had gone home I would have gotten the "Son you can not go around announcing your a homosexual."  

I won't hide what I feel inside,
I won't let you live knowing
I was the one you stiffed in
the back, This is a passion
crime.  Once a dark love.

Why should I care so much what my father thinks it was no is my life, I stand up for myself and I fight my own damn battles.  My thoughts were on Andy they had never strayed from him.  I continued to play not caring that people kids I went to school with were listening, I actually loved the attention like some small child.  I just knew I never had a chance in fucking hell with Andy.  Soon I felt the hand tap my shoulder, it was Jake.

"Hello Ashley, nice song, please finish it, I would love to see how it turns out."  he said sitting next to me, I still wondered where Andy was knew in my head and heart he was home.  I never knew the conversation that went on between him and Jake, or Jake and CC didnt care.

"Thanks Jake is it?  Why you here so ate dude?"  I asked curiously watching as others cleared out not paying any more mind, why should they I was the new kid in town so what.  

"Yeah its Jake, I am here cause Andy hung up on me and I wanted to think.  Was nice finding you here Ashley."  he had said still I couldn't help but wonder why.  I didnt ask why ANdy hung up I didn't want to know.  I continued with my song, my fingers never stopped playing the whle time we were talking.

This is a Passion Crime
never going to hide what
how dark I am inside
never going to let you go
never going to let you live
this is a passion crime

I hadn't noticed that Jake texted Andy and sent a cell video of me playing and singing a small amount, it was cool if I did know I wasn't fucking shy about it.  His message had said.  "Andy, you gotta hear this Dude."   then he attached the vid clip and hit send.  I just played on no a care in the world the other parts of tow were going on with their busy mundane lives.  There was a small pause as I lit a smoke but I had picked up where I had left off.

Your the love that grew cold
so very deep inside I feel a
darkness taking over, I am
falling to earth on fire unable
to control my darkening rage

The cords I played began to turn to a haunting darkness, so dark for even me, but I felt so outcasted.  I knew Jake was listening till I could hear him breathing, I wasn't sure what to do.  His heart beat was dancing in my ears.  I turned to smile at him, but my thoughts still were with Andy.  Why couldn't I get him out of my mind, he was like an Addiction and I wasnt even sure if he was gay or bi.  It didnt matter I wanted him.

GOD I am hopeless, so helplessly lost, helplessly addicted to Andy, what the hell was I supposed to do now?  I just knew that Jake was wondering what the heck was wrong with me, it was freaking obvious that I was far away in thought while playing and singing.

This is a Passion Crime
never going to hide what
how dark I am inside
never going to let you go
never going to let you live
this is a passion crime

I looked up to see the other guy that hung out with Andy and Jake, I think too his name was Christian or CC.  He sat down too and listened, this time I noticed what was going on.  CC had texted someone and I figured it was Andy.  "Hey Andy you have got to come and hear that guy Ashley play.  We are in the park."  he hit send and I swallowed hard.  Maybe he would show up after all who knew, I wasn't holding my breath.

I cut your heart out and placed
it in a box of black velvet and lace
my true loves heart dead now
blood soaked sheets and clothes
I knew this was a Passion crime

"Dude your freaking sweet at that Bass and that voice  Damn dude."  CC had said I could have sworn I smirked or blushed one, but I knew my face was flaring hot, but that didn't stop me from going on.  I would take the song into a darker setting and as the next piece for the chorus came up and I hit it with a dark still tone.  I knew they were still listening intently.  Again I couldn't stop thinking of Andy.  I seemed to be happily dark for the moment, but that could change.

This is a Passion Crime
never going to hide what
how dark I am inside
never going to let you go
never going to let you live
this is a passion crime

I was known for being happy and content one moment and then a raging emo the next but that never stopped me from the things I loved to do.  They were music, my Bass, writting and sex.  My Addiction was guys my age, god and I had met some hawt ones too.

I saw you in his bed, what I saw
next was him screwing you and I
heard you moan, rage filled my face
my eyes turned red, then I saw red
you die now and i live with the
passion Crime forever.

I finally finished and still Andy hadn't showed it was alright not sure why but it was alright.  I smiled as I placd my bass across my lap and pulled another smoke looking to each of them Jake and CC.

"Dude that was totally kick ass awesome you rock.  Wish Andy could have heard it, maybe some other time."  Jake chimmed in and then I saw the look on CC's face.

"He is right Man that was kick ass, where did you learn to play like that?"  CC asked all I could do was smile and say.  

"From deep inside myself thats where and watching other bass players." I was pleased with myself and it was nice to have Jake and CC there too.